He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
