Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
