Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize