we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
