she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
