Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
