so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
