coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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