DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize