CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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