you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
