your thong is hanging out like whoa
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
