another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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