nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize