Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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