I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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