I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
