I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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