she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize