he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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