Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
