there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
