dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
