in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
