he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
