Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
