is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
