Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
