I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
