she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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