She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
