Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize