people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
