I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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