Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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