I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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