is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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