I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
