Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he thought i was a dude.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
