Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize