Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
