and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
