I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
