My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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