woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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