We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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