i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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