Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
