Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so let's talk penis.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
