i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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