Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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