he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
