Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
