He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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