i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Maybe he injected his testicle?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
