I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
