You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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