Operation Purity has been aborted
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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