I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
