Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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