Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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