Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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